How to Write a Eulogy

Benjamin Shafer • December 19, 2023
Often, when we lose a loved one, an important part of the healing process is reflecting on the life they lived. A memorial gathering is an opportunity to honor and pay tribute to your loved one’s many accomplishments and unique personality. A eulogy is a lovely way to share fond memories about your loved one that you cherish and hold dear — helping to create a lasting legacy. It’s also an opportunity to express your feelings of deep gratitude and unending love.

What is a eulogy?
A heartfelt speech that pays tribute to your loved one, a eulogy tells the story of their life and shares what they meant to their friends and family. A eulogy may be delivered at a funeral service, a celebration of life or a graveside ceremony. Eulogies are normally given by family members and close friends. Religious leaders and coworkers may also be invited to share their memories of your loved one.

Eulogy vs. obituary
Compared with an obituary, a eulogy is much more personal and reflective. An obituary is an announcement that usually follows a particular template or outline. A eulogy tends to be more personal and can contain a funny story, cherished memories or an emotional reflection. Depending on who is giving the eulogy, the stories are completely unique to the relationship and the bond shared with your loved one.

How to start a eulogy
Get started by doing a little research about your loved one — the place they were born, what they were like as a child and events in their family life as an adult. Discover what they accomplished in their lifetime. Learn about barriers they may have overcome. Explore their life passions and hobbies. Find out what their family and friends cherished about them. Ask people about the impact they felt your loved one made on those around them. Sharing these memories and impressions can be an uplifting and essential part of the grieving process for all involved.

Be sure to write your eulogy down. You may be nervous or grief-stricken at the funeral, and it may be difficult to remember the details you wanted to share. It can be helpful to print it out in large font in case you get tearful while reading. If you’re not comfortable getting up and speaking in front of a crowd, you could ask a friend or family member to read your eulogy for you.

How long should a eulogy be?
Don’t worry — you aren’t expected to write a novel. You can keep it simple and short. Just share one or two of your favorite memories about your loved one. A eulogy is typically about 5 to 10 minutes long. If this seems daunting to you, ask your loved one’s friends, coworkers or other family members to share in the experience of crafting the eulogy.

How to personalize a eulogy
The details you include in the eulogy will make it unique and reflective of your loved one’s personality. Did they have a great sense of humor? You can share one or two of their favorite jokes. Was your loved one dependable and generous? Share what their relationship meant to you and others. Were they extremely driven and motivated? Expound on their values and accomplishments.

What to include
You can make it lighthearted or somber — whichever you prefer. A eulogy is typically informally written. Imagine you’re talking to a close friend. You may want to touch on some or all of these topics:
  • An overview of their life story and milestones
  • Relationships with family, friends and coworkers
  • Volunteer work and career accomplishments
  • Hobbies, interests and talents
  • Their favorite stories, poems, songs or quotes
  • The impact they had on the lives surrounding them
  • A thank you to guests for coming to offer condolences
Remember to keep the eulogy positive. Sharing a eulogy is an opportunity to reflect on uplifting memories.

Eulogy for your parents
A eulogy for either of your parents will, above all, touch on the many ways they cared for you. If you’re writing a eulogy for your mother, you can emphasize her accomplishments, her wonderful attributes and the way she impacted those around her. How did she positively influence and support you? Likewise, a eulogy for your father could be an opportunity to share the things you cherished about his personality, character and achievements. How did he encourage and nurture you? In what ways was he a role model?

Eulogy for a sibling
When writing a eulogy for your sibling, you may want to share funny anecdotes or silly arguments you had as children. Reflect on how your relationship changed as you matured and grew up together. Explain some of the common bonds you had and the experiences that you’ll always remember.

Eulogy for a grandparent
You may have fond memories of your grandparent from your childhood. You could share some of your favorite stories, wisdom passed down from your grandma or how you’ll miss your grandpa’s famous cookies. These lovely stories will help you connect with your audience, who likely have similar memories of your grandparent.

Practicing your eulogy
When you’ve finished writing your eulogy, you’ll want to practice reading it aloud. Try presenting the eulogy to a friend or family member before deliver it. Ask for feedback so you can edit accordingly, making sure the details are understandable and accurately reflect your loved one’s personality.

When you’re nervous, you’ll likely read faster. Focus on reading it slowly. Pause briefly between details so that guests have time to reflect.

A eulogy provides closure
Above all, don’t worry about performing the eulogy perfectly. Your audience understands that you are grieving a loss, and they are there to support you. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with the memories. A eulogy can help provide much-needed closure and comfort to you and your audience, both children and adults. Remembering your loved one and sharing their singular qualities with others helps commemorate and honor their legacy.
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By Benjamin Shafer August 12, 2024
When writing your last will and testament, you need to make sure it's legally binding. Passing away without a will in place, your estate could go to probate court, incurring costs, time, holdups, and headaches for loved ones. After all, if you were to pass away without a will in place, your estate could go to probate court, with its those attendant costs, headaches and holdups. Each state has its own requirements for what makes a last will and testament legally binding. Generally, however, it's simple: You’ll need to be of sound mind when you sign and date the will and have at least two disinterested people witness your signature. Making Your Will Legal: State Law Varies Your last will and testament will be governed by the state where you keep your primary residence (or the state where you pay personal income tax). It’s wise to familiarize yourself with any rules specific to the state where you live. For example, different states have different rules about holographic, or entirely handwritten, wills. Case in point: Texas generally recognizes holographic (handwritten) wills, while New York recognizes holographic wills only in super specific cases. Most states require two disinterested witnesses (meaning people who aren’t named in your will), but some also require notarization (like Louisiana). Here’s a general rundown for each state: Alabama: In Alabama, check out Title 43, Chapter 8. To make your last will and testament legally binding, you need two witnesses at the time of signing. You can’t sign your will electronically. Alaska: You can find the statues in Title 13, Chapter 12. Your will must be written down, and signed by you or someone signing on your behalf in your presence. This signing needs to happen in front of two witnesses Arizona: You can find Arizona’s rules in Title 14. You need to sign the will (or have someone else sign for you in your presence, while you’re conscious) in front of two witnesses. Arkansas: Take a look at Title 28. To make your will legally binding, sign it in front of at least two witnesses. California: These laws are in Sections 6100 through 6113. Sign and date your will (under the condition that you have “testamentary capacity”) and have it signed and witnessed by two people. Colorado: Look to CRS Title 15 for details on the law. In Colorado, you can sign your will in the presence of two witnesses or do so in front of a notary public. Connecticut: Find these laws in Chapter 802a. Like in many other states, you can make your will binding by signing in front of two witnesses. Delaware: Title 12 lays out the rules in Delaware. In this state, you can just sign your will and have it witnessed by two people. Florida: Look to Chapter 732 in Florida. Execution of a valid last will and testament means signing in the presence of two witnesses. Georgia: Check out Title 53. In Georgia, you can make your will binding by signing with two witnesses. Hawaii: Look for Hawaii rules in Chapter 560. As in many other states, your Hawaiian will can be executed if you sign in the presence of two witnesses. Idaho: Rules about executing a will in Idaho are found in Title 15. In this state, you need to sign your will with two witnesses. Illinois: Read up on 755 ILCS 5 to learn the details in Illinois. This is another state in which you just need two witnesses to watch you sign your will. Indiana: In Indiana, look to Title 29. As the testator, you’d need to sign in front of two witnesses. You’re also free to create a self-proving affidavit if you choose. Iowa: Chapter 633 is where you should look in Iowa. As with other states, you need to sign with two witnesses. Kansas: Check out Chapter 59 in Kansas. In this state, you need to sign in the presence of two witnesses, who also sign. Kentucky: Kentucky lists its regulations in Chapter 394. To make your will legally valid, you should sign in the presence of two witnesses. Louisiana: You can find the statutes in CC 1570. This is one of the few states that requires notarization—so get ready to sign your will in front of two witnesses plus a notary. Maine: For more nuanced info, read Title 18-A, Article 2. The basic gist? Sign your will in front of two witnesses. Maryland: You can read the relevant statutes in GAM, Estates and Trusts, Title 4. In Maryland, your will becomes legally binding when you sign it in front of two witnesses (who also sign it). Massachusetts: Take a look at Chapter 190B. To make your will binding in Massachusetts, sign it in front of two witnesses. Michigan: The rules in Michigan are laid out in Act 386 of 1998. In this state, you’d need to sign your will in the presence of two witnesses, who also sign to verify they witnessed it. Minnesota: Chapter 524 is where you’d want to look in Minnesota. To make your will legally binding, you should sign in front of two witnesses. Mississippi: You can find details in Title 91, Chapter 5. If the will is written and signed by the testator, you actually don’t need any witnesses. If it isn’t solely created and signed by the testator, then you do need two or more witnesses. Missouri: Title XVI explains the statutes in Missouri. Essentially, you need to sign in front of two witnesses. Montana: Check out Title 72 for details. In this state, you should sign your will in the presence of two witnesses, who also should sign. Nebraska: Chapter 30 describes the rules in Nebraska. In this state, you should sign your will in the presence of two witnesses, who also sign it. Nevada: You can read up on the statutes in Nevada Title 12, Chapter 133. In this state, you need to sign the last will and testament to make it legally binding, along with two witnesses. New Hampshire: Relevant statutes can be found in Chapter 551. You should, in this state, sign your will in front of two credible witnesses, who should also sign. New Jersey: In New Jersey, the rules are determined by Title 3B. You can legally execute your will in this state by signing it in front of two witnesses. New Mexico: The laws in this state are governed by Chapter 45. This is another state in which you need to print and sign your will in front of two witnesses to make it legally binding. New York: Wills in New York state must abide by the Estates, Powers, and Trusts provisions. To be legally valid, the signing of the will must be witnessed by two people who must also provide signatures. North Carolina: The requirements for drafting a will in this state are contained in Chapter 31 the state statutes. The signing of the will must be witnessed and signed by two people to be valid. North Dakota: In North Dakota Chapter 30.1-08 of the state statues describes the necessary requirements for a will. To execute the will legally you may sign the document before a Notary Public or at least two witnesses. Ohio: Chapter 2107 of the Ohio state statutes lays out the necessary elements of a will in that state. You must then sign the document in front of two witnesses who must also sign the will for it to be legally valid. Oklahoma: In Oklahoma, Title 84 details the requirements to draft a last will and testament. For legal execution, the will must be signed in the presence of two witnesses who are also signatories of the document. You may notarize it as well. Oregon : Chapter 112 dictates the proper steps for drafting a will in Oregon. Two witnesses must be present at the signing of the will, and also sign the document themselves to make it legally valid. Pennsylvania: In this state, wills must follow the instructions laid out in Title 20, Decedents, Estates and Fiduciaries. You must sign the will or sign by mark. The will can be signed by another person on your behalf so long as you are conscious and present for the signing. In this case, two other people must witness and sign the document. Rhode Island: Rhode Island’s Title 33 provides the necessary requirements to be met in drafting a will. At least two witnesses must be present when the will is signed, and then add their signatures to the will. South Carolina: The requirements for drafting a last will and testament in South Carolina can be found in Title 62 of the state’s statutes. In accordance with this statute, the will must be signed by you and two witnesses. South Dakota: You can find the necessary details for drafting a valid will in South Dakota in Chapter 29A-2 of the state statutes. South Dakota’s rules about signatures and validity can be found here § 29A-2-502. Tennessee: In this state, Title 32 is where you will find the necessary elements for drafting a will. The will must be signed by you and at least two witnesses, if the will is neither a nuncupative nor a holographic will. Texas: Look to the Texas Probate Code for the requirements you must follow to draft a will in Texas. To be legally valid, the will must be signed by you and two witnesses who are at least 14 years old. Utah: In this state your will must follow the guidelines set out in Title 75, and must also be signed in the presence of two witnesses who will then add their signatures. Vermont: In Vermont, Title 14 explains what is needed for a last will and testament. To make your will legally valid, you must sign the document along with two credible witnesses. Virginia : The elements necessary to create a will in this state are laid out in Title 64.2. To finalize, you must sign the will along with two witnesses. Washington: Wills in Washington state must adhere to the instructions in Title 11. The document must then be signed by you and two witnesses to be valid. West Virginia: Chapter 41 describes the elements necessary to complete a will. The will must contain your signature and that of two witnesses to be valid. Wisconsin: All of the details to create a last will and testament in Wisconsin can be found in Chapter 583. The will is made legally valid by the testator adding their signature along with two witnesses. Wyoming : In this state, Title 2 outlines how to draft a will. Upon completion, it you must sign it along with two witnesses. If you have specific questions about your state’s requirements, we suggest you reach out to a qualified attorney. And, of course, there are some components that you may think of as part of your estate plan that aren't actually included in your will, and therefore won't become legally binding through this process. This includes instructions regarding your pets, online accounts and more.
Cask with Flowers
By Benjamin Shafer June 20, 2024
Term life insurance policies are very popular these days, and of course, they can provide very valuable protection at a low cost for many people. However, the problem with term life insurance is that it expires just when the covered person would find it harder to find protection, after ten or twenty or thirty years, the term life insurance expires. The theory behind term life insurance is that by that time the insured person will have less obligations, and they will have enough money saved to self insure. However, we find many senior citizens and retired people who have not had the good fortune to be free of obligations, and with sufficient savings to cover their debts, final expenses, and other obligations. Also, by the time we reach maturity, we may also have developed more health problems. As if an advanced age were not enough, health problems may make us very tough or expensive to insure at all! However some life insurance companies have developed senior life, guaranteed life insurance, or final expense life insurance programs to meet these needs. These are, basically whole life insurance policies. This means that the policy will stay in force as long as the policy is kept in force. A policy is usually kept in force by paying premiums, or by having the policy ìpaid upî. Yes, many whole life policies can be paid up over a period of years, usually ten to twenty years. In this case, an insured person can relax, knowing they will have life insurance for their whole lives, and not just for a period of years. These type of senior life insurance or final expense policies come in two types that do not require a medical exam. For a face value that usually ranges from $2,500 to $25,000, many senior life insurance companies will offer simple issue and guaranteed issue life insurance policies. Because the face value is lower, and so the risk to insurance companies is lower, you can find some more relaxed requirements to gain affordable coverage for life insurance. Seniors can leave this money to a beneficiary, usually their spouse or children, to cover burial expenses, settle final debts, and leave some money as an estate. Simple issue life insurance policies provide immediate death benefits. They do as health questions on the applications, but the great majority of seniors can qualify. They usually only declined applicants who have a terminal disease, or are in a nursing home. So smaller health issues will not prevent an applicant from obtaining coverage. Since the coverage is immediate, as soon as the insured person is notified that their policy has been issued, they will be covered. Guaranteed issue life insurance policies do not ask any health questions at all! Instead they underwrite by delaying full coverage for a period of months, from 24 to 36, or 2 to 3 years. If the insured person passes away during this qualification period, they will refund all premiums with a specified interest rate. For an older individual with serious health issues, this is still a no-lose deal. If you are an older person, or if you are concerned about paying final expenses for your parents, consider a senior life insurance policy. It will be much easier to pay an affordable monthly premiums than to come up with several thousand dollars for a burial and other expenses after the person dies.
Person holding dollar bil
By Benjamin Shafer March 2, 2024
Planning a funeral for a loved one is an emotionally charged experience, often compounded by the burden of financial considerations. Understanding the average cost of funerals in the United States can help ease some of that burden and guide informed decision-making during this sensitive time. The Bottom Line: According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the median cost of a funeral in the United States in 2024 was approximately $9,150. This figure includes the basic services of funeral homes, embalming, and a casket, but excludes additional costs like cemetery plots, monuments, and death certificates. A Breakdown of Costs: Funeral Home Services: This encompasses basic services like coordinating arrangements, directing the funeral, and providing staff and facilities. It typically ranges from $2,000 to $4,000. Embalming: Embalming preserves the body and is required by law in some cases. It adds $700 to $1,500 to the cost. Casket: Caskets can vary widely in price depending on the material, style, and features. The median cost falls between $2,500 and $6,000. Cemetery Plot and Vault: The cost of a cemetery plot can vary significantly depending on location and availability. It typically ranges from $2,000 to $10,000, and a concrete vault adds another $1,500 to $3,000. Factors Affecting Cost: Several factors can influence the overall cost of a funeral, including: Location: Funeral costs tend to be higher in urban areas compared to rural ones. Type of service: Traditional burials with embalming and viewing are more expensive than cremation, which typically costs $6,280 on average. Casket choice: As mentioned earlier, casket material and features significantly impact the price. Cemetery fees: Plot location, size, and opening/closing fees can vary greatly. Additional services: Flowers, catering, transportation, and personalized touches add to the overall cost. Cost-Saving Tips: Shop around: Compare prices from different funeral homes and cemeteries. Consider cremation: Cremation is generally less expensive than traditional burial. Choose a simpler casket: Opt for a more affordable material or forego features you don't need. Pre-plan your funeral: Discussing and planning your wishes in advance can help your family save money and make informed decisions. Remember: The average cost of a funeral is just a starting point. By understanding the breakdown of costs and considering your individual needs and preferences, you can make informed choices that align with your budget and values. Additional Resources: National Funeral Directors Association Funeral Consumers Alliance The Cremation Association of North America
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